Mastercard

"Hey, can I pay you by mastercard? Cos I want to try and win the diamond," I asked, whilst pointing to the mastercard advert. It instantly struck a chord with him.

"This one ah! No way you can win. Its just a bullshit lah!" he exclaimed.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Have you actually ever heard of somebody winning it? Nooooo right? That’s why I tell you. Buuuullshit lah,"

"But I want to win the diamond," I insisted. "Surely SOMEONE has to win?"

"Listen. Did you ever seeee anyone win a diamond yet? I TELL you. You never see people got win one."

"But," I whimpered. There was no doubting it. I was defeated.

"Tell you ah. Last time. The car prize. Do you see anyone driving it? No lah. Another bullshit! Then everyday everyone want to pay mastercard. Wah lau these guys ah. Heh heh heh."

"My word!" I gasped in my pseudo-Brit-American-Singlish-Neutralised accent.

"God for my business though! [cackle] More and more people want to take a taxi and win. [more sinister cackles]."

It was time to leave before the conspiracy got deeper. He scanned my card and, for once, it all went without a glitch. Arriving home I pondered deep in thought about why don't I just queue up at the ATM for half an hour so that I can pay for taxis with cash? Er, maybe its because I'm a foreigner and after four years I still haven’t gotten any money changed.