Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Excuses for Credit Cards

All taxis in Singapore have two things in common.

1. They accept all major credit cards.

2. All taxi drivers are excellent at avoiding taking payment by credit card.

Here are some of the excuses I have been given when trying to pay by credit card:

Excuse #1
"The Visa machine is not working yet. They only just installed it." (uh huh)

Excuse #2
"You have to pay the surcharge when paying by credit card. Why not you just pay cash?" (because there was a big frickin queue at the ATM)

Excuse #3
The reception here is not good. (????)

Excuse #4
Driver swipes the card the wrong way. "Oh. The system must be down. Its not working." (Mark then attempts to tell the driver how swipe it but the driver's English turns off.)

Excuse #5
"I'm not trained to use this. I'm a new driver." (Tsk tsk. So many new drivers these days)

Excuse #6
Machine is turned off. "Sorry the machine down." (Grrr.)

Excuse #7
Driver scolds me. "You should have told me earlier that you were paying by card." (How about I don't pay you at all then?)

Excuse #8
Driver has run out of paper. "Sorry no paper liao." (You lying git. I reckon you've got it all stashed in your glove compartment.)

Excuse #9
"I've already put it through as cash." (You can still do the transaction. I've seen it done before. Don't lie to me.)

Excuse #10
Driver keeps smacking his lips and making noises. (I'm going to carry a hand water pistol from now on and squirt people whenever they do that.)